He who marries, settles; he who unmarries, spoils — marriage is stabilising and ordering, while its dissolution is disruptive and damaging. A conservative observation about the ordering function of marriage in traditional Sicilian society.
In Sicily's traditional social order, the married person occupied a defined, stable role: the husband worked, provided, and represented the family publicly; the wife managed the household, raised the children, and was the emotional centre of the home. Both were 'settled' — given a position, a role, a clear function. The unmarried person (particularly the unmarried man) was seen as unsettled, incomplete, and potentially destabilising. And the divorced or separated person was 'guasto' — spoiled, damaged, like food that has gone bad. This proverb reflected a world where marital status determined social identity, where the dissolution of marriage was not merely personal but communally disruptive. Modern Sicily, especially in cities, has largely left this view behind — but the proverb remains in use as an ironic observation about how marriage changes people.
A traditional Sicilian proverb about the ordering function of marriage in the social fabric. 'Si marita' = si sposa (marries), 's'aggiusta' = si sistema (settles/is sorted), 'si smarita' = si separa (separates), 'si guasta' = si rovina (spoils/is damaged). Reflects the traditional Sicilian view of marital status as social ordering.
Noticing how a friend changed after marriage
Prima era disordinato, scapestrato, non combinava niente. Da quando si è sposato è un'altra persona. Cu si marita s'aggiusta.
Before he was untidy, wild, never achieved anything. Since he married he is a different person. He who marries, settles.
Observing a couple after separation
Si sono separati sei mesi fa. Cu si smarita si guasta — entrambi stanno peggio di prima.
They separated six months ago. He who unmarries, spoils — both are worse than before.
An elder reflecting on the social function of marriage
Una volta ci si sposava e ci si sistemava. Cu si marita s'aggiusta, cu si smarita si guasta — adesso è più complicato.
Once you married and settled down. He who marries, settles; he who unmarries, spoils — now it is more complicated.
Ironically applied to someone improved by a new relationship
Si è fidanzato e sembra rinato. Cu si marita s'aggiusta — o forse è lei che ha risolto i suoi problemi.
He got engaged and seems reborn. He who marries, settles — or perhaps she is the one who sorted out his problems.