Eye that does not see, heart that does not ache — what you do not witness does not cause you pain. Out of sight, out of mind. Used both as an observation about how distance reduces emotional involvement and as a kind of protective advice: sometimes it is better not to see, not to know.
For Sicilian families who sent children to America, Argentina, or Germany, this proverb was both comfort and guilt. The mother who did not see her son's daily difficulties in the factory of Turin did not feel them acutely; the pain of specific knowledge was spared her by distance. Whether this was a blessing or an impoverishment was ambiguous. The proverb was also used in the context of willful not-seeing: the person who chose not to look too closely at a neighbour's situation, a relative's decline, a friend's bad marriage. Not seeing kept the heart comfortable; seeing would have demanded response. Sicily's culture of strategic non-interference (cu si fa i fatti soi campa cent'anni) had this proverb as its emotional logic.
A Sicilian variant of the universal 'out of sight, out of mind' proverb. 'Occhiu' = occhio (eye), 'vidi' = vede (sees), 'cori' = cuore (heart), 'doli' = duole (aches). Particularly poignant in the context of the Sicilian emigration experience.
A mother who moved away not knowing the difficulties her children face
Vive a Palermo, i figli sono a Milano. Occhiu chi non vidi, cori chi non doli — non sa metà di quello che passano.
She lives in Palermo, the children are in Milan. Eye that does not see, heart that does not ache — she does not know half of what they go through.
Explaining why some people choose not to watch the news
Non guardo i telegiornali. Occhiu chi non vidi, cori chi non doli — è un modo per difendersi.
I do not watch the news. Eye that does not see, heart that does not ache — it is a way of protecting yourself.
After deciding to look away from a painful situation
Non posso farci niente. Occhiu chi non vidi, cori chi non doli — finché non vedo, posso andare avanti.
I can do nothing about it. Eye that does not see, heart that does not ache — as long as I do not see, I can keep going.
Reflecting on the limits of the proverb
Occhiu chi non vidi, cori chi non doli — ma il problema rimane, lo veda io o no.
Eye that does not see, heart that does not ache — but the problem remains, whether I see it or not.