He who does not respect others does not deserve respect — the golden rule expressed in Sicilian directness. Respect in Sicily is not given automatically by rank or age alone; it must be earned and maintained through reciprocal behaviour. This proverb was the foundation of social codes from the village piazza to the family table.
In Sicilian society, respect — rispettu — was the currency of daily life, more valuable than money in many ways. It determined who you greeted first, who sat where at the table, whose word carried weight in a dispute. The proverb encodes a paradox that Sicilians found important: the powerful man who showed contempt for the poor forfeited his own claim to dignity. The fisherman who treated the marchese with deference was not humiliating himself — he was demonstrating his own superiority of character. This reciprocal ethic of respect extended to how men treated women, how the young treated the old, and how the outsider was welcomed or rejected. Loss of rispettu was a serious matter — it could end friendships, divide families, and in extreme cases trigger the chain of honour conflicts that Sicilian literature so often dramatises.
A Sicilian proverb encoding the reciprocal honour code fundamental to the island's social fabric. 'Cu' = chi (he who), 'rispetta' = rispetta (respects), 'merita' = merita (deserves), 'rispettu' = rispetto (respect). Used across all social classes and all parts of Sicily.
Reprimanding a young man who spoke rudely to an elder
Parli così agli anziani? Cu non rispetta non merita rispettu — ricordatelo la prossima volta che hai bisogno di qualcosa.
You speak like that to elders? He who does not respect does not deserve respect — remember that next time you need something.
After a manager humiliated a worker publicly
Si comporta come se fosse il re del mondo. Cu non rispetta non merita rispettu — un giorno troverà qualcuno che glielo fa capire.
He behaves as if he is king of the world. He who does not respect does not deserve respect — one day he will find someone who makes him understand it.
Explaining the Sicilian ethic of reciprocal courtesy
In Sicilia il rispetto funziona così: cu non rispetta non merita rispettu. Non è questione di rango ma di carattere.
In Sicily respect works like this: he who does not respect does not deserve respect. It is not a question of rank but of character.
A grandmother teaching social values to grandchildren
Trattate tutti con gentilezza, ricchi e poveri. Cu non rispetta non merita rispettu — e voi volete essere rispettati, vero?
Treat everyone with kindness, rich and poor. He who does not respect does not deserve respect — and you want to be respected, right?