Everyone thinks of their own things — do not expect others to prioritise your interests above their own; every person is primarily focused on their own situation, worries, and desires. A realistic observation about human self-interest that helps manage expectations.
This proverb is not cynicism but realism — the honest acknowledgement that human attention is naturally centred on the self and one's own circle. In a society where survival was personal and communal rather than institutional, this truth was useful to understand: the neighbour who seemed indifferent to your difficulties was not necessarily bad-hearted but preoccupied with their own; the friend who did not respond to your news was not unfeeling but immersed in their own situation. Understanding this prevented the bitterness of disappointed expectation. It also worked as a guiding principle: take care of yourself first, because everyone else is primarily taking care of themselves. Not a reason for selfishness but for self-sufficiency.
A Sicilian proverb of realistic self-awareness about human self-focus. 'Ognunu' = ognuno (everyone), 'cosi soi' = cose sue (their own things). Helps manage expectations and encourages self-sufficiency without encouraging cynicism.
Explaining why expecting others to care as much as you is unrealistic
Non aspettarti che si preoccupino come ti preoccupi tu. Ognunu pensa a li cosi soi — è naturale, non è cattiveria.
Do not expect them to worry as much as you do. Everyone thinks of their own things — it is natural, it is not badness.
After a friend did not notice a difficult period
Non se n'è accorto che stavo male. Ognunu pensa a li cosi soi — aveva i suoi problemi, non stava guardando i miei.
He did not notice I was struggling. Everyone thinks of their own things — he had his own problems, he was not looking at mine.
Advising someone not to rely too heavily on others
Alla fine devi fare affidamento su te stesso. Ognunu pensa a li cosi soi — non è pessimismo, è la realtà.
In the end you must rely on yourself. Everyone thinks of their own things — it is not pessimism, it is reality.
Teaching a child that others have their own worries
Il tuo amico non era lì per te perché aveva i suoi problemi. Ognunu pensa a li cosi soi — non è colpa sua.
Your friend was not there for you because he had his own problems. Everyone thinks of their own things — it is not his fault.