The accounts of the house are made between husband and wife — financial and domestic matters are the private business of the couple and no one else. Parents, relatives, and neighbours have no right to know about or interfere in the financial arrangements of a married couple.
This proverb combined the Sicilian principle of family privacy with the specific protection of the conjugal financial sphere. Even within the wider family — the mother-in-law who wanted to know how much the son earned, the father who offered to manage the couple's savings, the siblings who thought they had a right to advice on how the household money was spent — the proverb drew a firm line. What happened between husband and wife financially was their affair. This protected couples from well-meaning but intrusive relatives, but also created the privacy within which financial problems or inequalities in the marriage could fester unobserved. As with many Sicilian proverbs about privacy, it had both a protective and a potentially imprisoning function.
A Sicilian proverb protecting conjugal financial privacy from family interference. 'Cunti' = conti (accounts), 'maritu' = marito (husband), 'mugghieri' = moglie (wife). Reflects the absolute privacy of the conjugal sphere in traditional Sicilian family culture.
A mother-in-law asking about the couple's finances
— Quanto guadagna tuo marito? — Li cunti di la casa si fannu tra maritu e mugghieri — sono affari nostri.
— How much does your husband earn? — The accounts of the house are made between husband and wife — it is our business.
Declining to explain financial decisions to relatives
Abbiamo deciso di comprare casa. I dettagli non vi riguardano. Li cunti di la casa si fannu tra maritu e mugghieri.
We have decided to buy a house. The details are not your concern. The accounts of the house are made between husband and wife.
Explaining why you don't know your brother's finances
— Tuo fratello come sta economicamente? — Non lo so e non glielo chiedo. Li cunti di la casa si fannu tra maritu e mugghieri — non tra fratelli.
— How is your brother doing financially? — I do not know and I do not ask him. The accounts of the house are made between husband and wife — not between brothers.
A newly married couple establishing boundaries
Le nostre finanze sono nostre. Li cunti di la casa si fannu tra maritu e mugghieri — non ci serve consiglio esterno.
Our finances are ours. The accounts of the house are made between husband and wife — we do not need outside advice.