Can I call you by your first name or do you prefer I use 'signora'?
pos-SO chia-MAR-la per NO-me — stress on 'so', 'mar-', 'no-'. Asking permission, not assuming.
After a successful first family visit — asking permission to use a parent's first name signals growing familiarity without overstepping.
'Posso chiamarla' = may I call you (formal). 'Per nome' = by (first) name. 'Preferisce che usi' + subjunctive = do you prefer that I use (formal). This question shows social intelligence — it asks instead of assuming, which is always the correct move with Italian parents.
Mi dica come preferisce che mi rivolga a lei.
Tell me how you prefer I address you.
Very formal — puts the choice entirely in the parent's hands
Lei è la signora Ferri per me — a meno che non mi dica diversamente.
You're signora Ferri to me — unless you tell me otherwise.
Defaults to formal — forces the parent to actively invite informality
Posso darle del tu? O è presto?
Can I use 'tu' with you? Or is it too soon?
Direct about the tu/lei boundary — Italians appreciate directness here
The transition from formal ('lei', 'signora', 'signore') to informal ('tu', first name) is a significant social ritual in Italian culture. It is almost always initiated by the older person, not the younger. Asking permission is the correct move — it shows respect and patience, which Italian parents deeply appreciate.