Small children, small troubles; big children, big troubles — the problems of parenting do not diminish as children grow; they transform and expand. The parent who thinks the toddler years are the hardest has not yet met their teenager or their adult child.
Every Sicilian mother has said this, usually to a young mother struggling with a sleepless infant, who cannot imagine how it could possibly get more demanding. The proverb is both a warning and a strange comfort: you are not doing it wrong, the problems simply grow with the children. The toddler who won't sleep becomes the teenager who won't communicate becomes the adult who makes choices you cannot control. Sicily's strong family bonds meant that parents remained emotionally invested in their children's lives far longer than in northern cultures — the adult son's job loss was the mother's anguish, the daughter's difficult marriage was the father's sleepless nights. 'Picciriddi' is the Sicilian word for children, in its plural form ('picciriddi piccioli' = small children, 'picciriddi granni' = big children/grown children).
One of the most recognisable Sicilian parenting proverbs, spoken across generations of mothers. 'Picciriddi' = bambini/figli (children), 'guai' = guai (troubles). The diminutive and augmentative forms mirror each other perfectly in Sicilian dialect.
A grandmother comforting an exhausted young mother
— Sono esausta. Non dorme, non mangia, piange. — Picciriddi piccioli, guai piccioli. Aspetta che cresce e vedrai.
— I am exhausted. He does not sleep, does not eat, cries. — Small children, small troubles. Wait until he grows and you will see.
Parents comparing notes on children of different ages
— I miei fanno i capricci. — Picciriddi piccioli, guai piccioli. I miei hanno trent'anni e i guai sono molto più grandi, credimi.
— Mine are throwing tantrums. — Small children, small troubles. Mine are thirty and the troubles are much bigger, believe me.
A father worrying about his adult son's divorce
Quando era piccolo pensavo fosse difficile. Picciriddi piccioli, guai piccioli — ora ha quarant'anni e mi preoccupo ancora di più.
When he was small I thought it was difficult. Small children, small troubles — now he is forty and I worry even more.
At a family gathering, comparing generational parenting experiences
Ci lamentiamo di adesso. Picciriddi piccioli, guai piccioli; picciriddi granni, guai granni — ogni fase porta la sua croce.
We complain about now. Small children, small troubles; big children, big troubles — every stage carries its own cross.