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PhrasesItalian Cultural EtiquetteIn Italia è maleducato fare domande troppo personali.
B2

In Italia è maleducato fare domande troppo personali.

In Italy it is rude to ask overly personal questions.

Pronunciation

ma-le-du-CA-to — stress on fourth syllable. 'Maleducato' = bad-mannered.

When to use it

Know this before asking Italians about age, salary, relationship status or family planning. While Italians are open and expressive, certain personal questions are considered intrusive.

What it means

Topics to avoid: asking a woman her age ('quanti anni ha?'), asking why a couple doesn't have children, asking about income or property value, asking about relationship status directly. Italian social reserve about these topics coexists with great openness about food, football, politics and opinions.

Variations

Non chiederle l'età — è maleducato.

Don't ask her age — it's rude.

Specific warning relevant especially for women of a certain age.

Non voglio essere indiscreto/a.

I don't want to be indiscreet.

Good preface when you're unsure whether a question is appropriate.

Sono fatti suoi.

It's their business.

'Fatti suoi' = his/her business — Italian expression for personal matters.

Mini Dialogue

— Quanti anni hai? — (sorpresa) Be'... trent'anni. — Ah, e non sei ancora sposata? — Non è detto che debba esserlo. — E i figli? — Ascolta, queste sono domande un po' personali... — Oh, scusa! In America si fanno normalmente. — Capisco, ma in Italia è un po' diverso.

— How old are you? — (surprised) Well... thirty. — Ah, and you're not married yet? — It doesn't follow that I should be. — And children? — Look, these are rather personal questions... — Oh, sorry! In America they're asked normally. — I understand, but in Italy it's a bit different.

Cultural Note

The question 'quando ti sposi?' (when are you getting married?) and 'quando fate figli?' (when are you having children?) are culturally loaded in Italy — connected to family pressure and traditional expectations. While commonplace in some Italian families, they are widely felt as intrusive by younger Italians.